Homesickness etc

I never thought I'd be homesick.  Okay, yeah, I realized that one day I would be homesick and that I'd want to come home more than I would anything else, including, but not limited to eating, sleeping, and breathing. 

Little did I ever know that I would be homesick before I left home.  In some ways, as I am still home, I guess it would more appropriately be labeled just sick, but it doesn't feel right.  Most correctly, I presume, would be to call what I've been feeling today "seperation anxiety". 

I was fine with leaving for a while now, but slowly the fears and worries and most of all sadness creep in.  Leaving behind all of this life in one way, yet carrying it with me 702 miles in another... it is hard to comprehend until I actually do it.  However, I am getting a taste of it now. 

It started in slow ways.  The realization that I may have saw someone for the "last time in a long time".  The idea that I may never eat in a certain restaurant again.  The fear that I won't ever be on the same relationship level that I am now with anybody I know.

And the simple truth is no.  It is comforting to know that relationships, people, and the state of eating establishments are always in flux anyhow.  Now it just seems more aggravated, like when I went away for camp and the newspaper changed its name.  Imagine everyone changing their name when I go to college and that's the feeling I get.

The simple truth is now I get resistance.  Never before in my life have I met a challenge quite like this and for that I am grateful.  I am also appreciative of modern technology and the fact that even though I will be 702 miles away, door step to door step, I can still see the face of my loved ones and can still text my friends or Facebook just about anybody in the world.

But still- resistance.  I will know nobody there like I know anybody here.  It is a mystery in itself, but because of it I can drink deep and grow strong. 

I leave this (unintentionally depressing) blog with this story (second hand from a classmate so the wording is by NO means a quotation) from one of the most interesting people, Mr. Faulkner.-

In the self contained enviroments the scientists would grow trees and they would get tall and massive and then one day they would just fall down.  Collapse, TIMBER! down because they were too heavy.  Trees are heavy things, but trees in nature have resistence they must overcome to keep standing tall and they grow stronger and more solid every day.  When you take away the problems an every day tree faces, it simply is no longer a strong tree.

Food, or trees, for thought.